Monday, September 7, 2015

Monster Ball

I have a little problem.  I call her my Monster.  Monster is the bad side of me and is quite literally my evil twin.  I hate Monster... no, I LOATHE her.

Over the years Monster and I have been seeing less and less of each other.  Sometimes many months pass before Monster comes back.  Monster is a combo of things: Anxiety, depression, mood swings.  Honestly, I really don't care what the flipping scientific name is called, all I know is that I fight it tooth and nail.

I don't like to talk about Monster much.  She's annoying.  She says the wrong things at the wrong times.  She's totally selfish and a pain in the butt.  And she's really grumpy.  Monster never lets me sleep.  She whines about how much I weigh, grumps about whatever I write, and tells me horrible things like; I'm a horrible mom, wife, name it, if it's there to smack me upside the head, Monster brings it.

I'd like to get rid of Monster the second she arrives, which is not always easy.  I had a therapist tell me that Monster is normal.  Monster should be medicated and Monster needs "me time".  All that did was keep Monster around longer.  So...

I decided to kick Monster out of my life for good.

Monster came for a visit.  Monster hadn't been around for so long, it was really hard to handle when she arrived.  The difference between me and Monster is so black and I am so white, my bleached undies look grey.  Day one had me in survival mode.  As long as I didn't shout at my kids and snark at my hubby, I was good.  Day two I was crying, begging for Monster to just go the heck away.  Day three came desperation.  Monster had to go and the only thing Monster hates is when people are happy.  No brainer.  I decided to make everyone around me happy.

So, today, I drove a young wife to her husband who is in the hospital.  They don't own a car and I put about 100 miles on mine doing it, but it was worth it.  Then I took a note and strawberries to my neighbor.  She's got five kids under 8 years old and she still finds time to watch my dog and borrow me sugar.  She's, yeah... THAT amazing.  Then I stopped and asked a cop if I could help him pick up trash off the Highway.  He was pulling big bags off to the side and it looked like a no fun job.  It smelled pretty bad, but he was a VERY cool cop.  I came home and hugged my boys.  Then we walked the dog...

I'd go on, but the Monster left around the time I slammed on my brakes on the highway and probably gave that cop a heart attack.

And good riddance!  Who knew that it would be so easy to ditch Monster?


PS.  Got a Monster?  Spread a smile, share some love.  Selflessness is the best cure.


  1. You kicked Monsters butt quick! My Monster stays for weeks. Your such an amazing woman Alyson! Hoping to kick my monster to the curb quick by serving and loving like you. Love ya Alyson!

  2. What a great way to fend it off. Half the battle for me is just realizing it is rearing its ugly head. I call mine the Jabberwocky, with jaws that bite and claws that catch. I have to slay it every so often but it regenerates or something. Just won't stay dead. But imagine a place where no one ever felt that way, probably kind of boring, wouldn't have as many trials, no growth, etc.....who would want that eh?

  3. Someone once said to me "If you're feeling sorry for yourself it's because you're thinking of yourself." Changed my life.