I've been frequenting a lot of doctor's offices lately. Apparently, having one chronic illness was not enough and I needed to piggy back it with something else. And it couldn't be another mildly inconveniencing illness. It has to be something really lame and worrisome like Degenerative Arthritis and all the fun that comes with it. I just love hearing that I have bone loss. Love, love love it. I also love hearing that I have now an even longer list of foods that I cannot eat. Low Sodium diet AND limit to only soft foods? Bring it baby! I think I specialize in starvation.
So while my tummy grumbles, I just want to let you know that I am the Queen of Bad News. My karma glow must be a muddy green poop color because I receive bad news all the time. This was my week: Jaw doc: 2 hours OB/GYN: 2 1/2 hours Physical Therapist: 3 1/2 hours Chiropractor: 1 hour and Hypno Therapist: 2 3/4 hours (Hypno WHAT? We'll get back to this one, she was fun)
While I am at the Jaw Doc with the No-Bedside Manners Doc, I am in his chair telling him that the drug he put me on gives me the spins. I don't like the spins. I've been trying NOT to spin for months, thanks to Meniere's. I tell him that when I lay down flat, my head does this totally not cool swirly thing. He says "Okay" and reclines his chair all the way flat. He's obviously deaf and I go spinny. He says "how do you feel?" I say "Crappy" but what I really want to say is... You freaking nut job! What did I just tell you!?!?! I'm spinning like a top here!!! (But I don't say it because I am too nice). "Crappy" translated into "Please do it more" in his aging ears because he proceeded to mess with my jaw flat on my back with my head spinning, sat me up and then repeated said torture six times.
It was nearing lunch by the time he finished, but I wasn't thinking about food. I was thinking Knuckle Sandwich.
Next I got to sit in the OB/GYN chair. I blot these visits out of my memory and claim amnesia. A few dark moments creep through the void, like me wondering what happened to my poor boobs. Her "exam" was very thorough and frankly I had no idea I had enough breast mass to squish through, but apparently I do. That visit ended with me giving five vials of blood for her to run tests on and study. I do have to say that I like my new GYN doc. She is fresh enough out of school that every patient is still her top priority and she likes to really get down to the root of things. Literally.
With half my blood supply gone, it's off to the Physical Therapist. All I have to say here is, that for the three and a half hours I spent in the office on the therapy table, I spent 30 minutes of it in actual face time with the PT who made me feel all stretchy. The other three hours? I took a lovely nap and it was very refreshing.
In the middle of all this I go to the Hypno Therapist who is teaching me how to manage the stress of chronic illness along with the pain. I know this sounds hoky, but so far, it's my favorite office to visit. Before we got started, however, she warned me that I should empty my bladder. Hypnosis puts you under deep relaxation and hygenic control is limited. This is all fine and dandy and I did my biz before getting started.
It was great. Like nirvana mixed with morphine but without all the nasty hangover side effects. I was off in happy land where I could forget my throbbing arm where the phlebotomist jabbed me with the needle, forget the spins and my grumbling stomach, forget the incessant pain in my joins and my sore boobs. I could forget it all.... but that wonky smell. That kept getting stronger. And it was ruining my zen.
About the time that the HT is telling me to pull my head out of happy land, I notice that the smell is pretty bad and I am registering that the Therapist isn't breathing with me when she is suggesting to inhale, hold, and exhale.
What is that gosh awful smell???
Well, it was me folks. Bladder was not the only relaxed organ in my body! Hypnosis gives me gas.
Mortified? Excessively.
And guess what? This was only the first week. I have six MONTHS of this. Woo...hoo.
And to round things off nicely, the OB/GYN called with my blood test and she was not happy about the results. She wants to run more tests. Weekly. For the next four weeks. Yay. Can you tell I am so happy about this?
Can I have more bad news? Please?
Yes, I can.
An e-mail from my editor came in and she is dropping my books. The condensed version of her e-mail was that I have voice and talent, but the books were not a formula romance. I bent the rules a bit and they like to see certain things happen on certain pages. I have a hard time writing purely formulaic (Trust me I TRIED to. Really, I worked it as close as I could without slitting my own wrists). So, no more contract with publisher. I was so close to seeing myself in print that I literally feel ditched at the alter.
Like I said, I have dirty brown, poo colored Karma.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
Magical Pee
I have a fantastic nine year old. He is freckled, happy and brilliant (although, don't all moms feel that way about their kids?!?!). By all counts he looks and acts like a normal boy, but my kid is special.
My son has magical pee.
It only shows up when he needs to get out of something. I'll ask him to bring up his laundry from his room and VIOLA!!! "Mom! I've got to go pee." He can magically disappear too because in our house he can sneak off to any number of bathrooms, do his business and then make his great escape without detection. On my end, if the request begins with "Darling, can you...?" or "I could use a little help with..." or "Hey! Go grab..." the boy is doing the pee pee dance as if his eyes will turn yellow if he doesn't go right that minute. The magical word is "work" and the rabbit out of the hat is the sudden filling of the bladder.
I wonder if I should take him to the doctor? I'll just sit him down and tell the pediatrician that my son has problems. What kind of problems? Well, the kid only does his business on cue. Is that a problem? Yes, doc, it is a problem! The only time he needs to go is when I need him to get things done around the house! (it'd be just my luck that she'll hand out chill pills to me and check off on his chart that "mom is a little nuts")
I have tested my theory of the magical pee problem. After breakfast on Saturday, I watched him hop off the stool at the counter, saunter into the bathroom at the end of the hall and shut the door. I didn't put my ear to the door to find out exactly what was going down, but there was a flush and a wash, so I ASSUME something bathroom-ish was happening. When he sauntered back, I casually put my hand on his shoulder (it stops sudden escape) and asked him to help his brother empty the dishwasher.
ALAKAZAM!!
Full bladder!
Boy: I gotta go, mom!
Me: No, you don't. You just went.
Boy: But I didn't do ALL of my business (rolls eyes like I'm being stupid).
Me: Uh huh. How about you hold it and empty the dishwasher first.
Boy: But I can't hold it!
Me: Well, you better hurry and put the forks away beofre you make a mess.
Boy: MOM!!!
There is always a curse inflected into my name at the end of these conversations. What's interesting is how he must think I am a complete dunce and haven't figured out what is going on here.
Bless that child. I sure love that kid. Even though he does have magic pee.
My son has magical pee.
It only shows up when he needs to get out of something. I'll ask him to bring up his laundry from his room and VIOLA!!! "Mom! I've got to go pee." He can magically disappear too because in our house he can sneak off to any number of bathrooms, do his business and then make his great escape without detection. On my end, if the request begins with "Darling, can you...?" or "I could use a little help with..." or "Hey! Go grab..." the boy is doing the pee pee dance as if his eyes will turn yellow if he doesn't go right that minute. The magical word is "work" and the rabbit out of the hat is the sudden filling of the bladder.
I wonder if I should take him to the doctor? I'll just sit him down and tell the pediatrician that my son has problems. What kind of problems? Well, the kid only does his business on cue. Is that a problem? Yes, doc, it is a problem! The only time he needs to go is when I need him to get things done around the house! (it'd be just my luck that she'll hand out chill pills to me and check off on his chart that "mom is a little nuts")
I have tested my theory of the magical pee problem. After breakfast on Saturday, I watched him hop off the stool at the counter, saunter into the bathroom at the end of the hall and shut the door. I didn't put my ear to the door to find out exactly what was going down, but there was a flush and a wash, so I ASSUME something bathroom-ish was happening. When he sauntered back, I casually put my hand on his shoulder (it stops sudden escape) and asked him to help his brother empty the dishwasher.
ALAKAZAM!!
Full bladder!
Boy: I gotta go, mom!
Me: No, you don't. You just went.
Boy: But I didn't do ALL of my business (rolls eyes like I'm being stupid).
Me: Uh huh. How about you hold it and empty the dishwasher first.
Boy: But I can't hold it!
Me: Well, you better hurry and put the forks away beofre you make a mess.
Boy: MOM!!!
There is always a curse inflected into my name at the end of these conversations. What's interesting is how he must think I am a complete dunce and haven't figured out what is going on here.
Bless that child. I sure love that kid. Even though he does have magic pee.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Spinning in the Dentist Chair
For all those who just LOOOVE going to the dentist... go put a sock in it. I don't like sitting in the dental chair of doom. It usually means that I have a cavity or whatnot and those needles are freaky. In fact, I dislike them so much that I go every six months. I know, that sounds contradictory. I'm all for prevention. I brush and floss religiously and I schedule routine cleanings because I am that anal about my teeth.
Usually, I sit in the chair, close my eyes and go to my happy place (or at least try to). The office knows I have Meniere's Disease and they are super nice. About as nice as you would be to a ticking time bomb. They cleaned me up, polished me all lovely and took a load of x-rays. The usual stuff (they even numbed my gums so I wouldn't feel anything).
Then they wrapped up the visit, I gave them my lovely and oh so super fake smile like I enjoyed myself and sat upright.
Yeah, not a good idea.
I had an attack right there in the dentist chair. Now, before non-spinners think that I am being silly, let me just say that when I have an attack of vertigo, I have no control over my body, where it goes or where I end up. Imagine being on a merry-go-round with your world in a full spin and you can't get off until the danged thing decides to stop. This was followed by instant nausea, a pounding headache and me gulping back bile that was threatening to ruin the pretty carpet.
I laugh a little now, but right then I was mortified. And I wasn't alone. Talk about massive freakout. The doc panicked, the hygienist panicked and I was the only one calm enough to tell them I was fine. In actuality, I was fine. I knew I might have an attack so I arranged for a ride, the appointment was already paid for all in advance so, all I needed to do was walk out the door.
Ah, geez.
My life is a three ring circus.
Tonight, I felt in the mood to concoct. My hubby, who is very good and kind, wanted to help out by getting pizza, but being on a low-sodium diet and already having a rough day, the smell of pizza is torture. I was going to cook!
Um... I am kinda low on groceries. Concocting is going to be interesting. This is what I had on hand:
So it looks like I have some Dried Shiitake Mushrooms (1 cup), Chardonnay (1 1/2 cups), Idaho Potatoes (three medium thinly sliced) a half of a white onion (diced).
It's not much to go on, but it'll have to do!
I melted about a tablespoon of Sweet Cream Unsalted Butter in a deep frying pan and cooked up my onion and mushrooms (WASH THE MUSHROOMS!!! Trust me. I have a gross story that I will never tell that has to do with unwashed mushrooms. So, be thorough!)
I added about a teaspoon of the following to the onion mixture:
Dill
Rosemary
Basil
Parsley
Oregano
Oh look! My pretty onions! I am a dab hand at dicing these suckers. I took the picture because I bought a dough knife that I never cut dough with. I use it to transport my cut stuff to the pan and it is AWESOME.
OXO brand has the best dough cutter, in case you were wondering.
All my cooking MUST have some sort of blood sacrifice. I did this little slice on my finger while cutting up my CLEAN mushrooms. NOTE TO SELF: don't talk on the phone with a knife in hand.
Back to the food.
I added my bone-in, skin-on, cheapest-meat-in-the-grocery-store chicken to the onion/mushroom/spice in butter mixture, doused it in Chardonnay and covered it in potato slices and brought it to a boil.
Viola! Isn't that pretty?
Then I cover-covered it with a lid and turned the heat down to medium to simmer. And now we wait.
I am not the best planner in the world, so when I put in the chicken it was still a little frozen. Not rock hard, mind you, because I did have some foresight by the time half the day was over. Pre-planning meals is not my forte.
It took about 45 minutes to cook and it sure looked pretty when it was done. My house smells like cooked alcohol and chicken, but I was able to get the nameless concoction on the table and eaten by the time my son needed to leave for Boy Scouts. There was only one hiccup. It was missing a bit of a nip. It need a punch, some flavor that would kick in my mouth.
I'm thinking I may add some lemon zest and juice to it next time. Maybe some balsamic vinegar or ginger for a flavor lift? What do you think? What should I add to make it better?
Food Quote of the Day (this time from the HUBS!): It's bland. Not BAD-bland. Just bland. (yeah, he's a man of few words)
NOT REALLY A Meniere's Tip of the day: I lived in Oklahoma for seven years and have seen many tornadoes and lived through a lot of severe weather. EVERY time a tornado hits that great state I fear for the lives in jeopardy and my heart aches when lives are lost. The people of Oklahoma are amazing how they band together, help each other and are incredibly organized about it. Why? Because this is their lives, it's what they are used to and we expect bad weather. Never before have I seen a group of strangers be so kind, so compassionate and so amazingly generous with their time and hard work. I may not have been born there, but I am OKIE PROUD. The RED CROSS is taking donations. Please open your heart to the people who have lost everything!
Usually, I sit in the chair, close my eyes and go to my happy place (or at least try to). The office knows I have Meniere's Disease and they are super nice. About as nice as you would be to a ticking time bomb. They cleaned me up, polished me all lovely and took a load of x-rays. The usual stuff (they even numbed my gums so I wouldn't feel anything).
Then they wrapped up the visit, I gave them my lovely and oh so super fake smile like I enjoyed myself and sat upright.
Yeah, not a good idea.
I had an attack right there in the dentist chair. Now, before non-spinners think that I am being silly, let me just say that when I have an attack of vertigo, I have no control over my body, where it goes or where I end up. Imagine being on a merry-go-round with your world in a full spin and you can't get off until the danged thing decides to stop. This was followed by instant nausea, a pounding headache and me gulping back bile that was threatening to ruin the pretty carpet.
I laugh a little now, but right then I was mortified. And I wasn't alone. Talk about massive freakout. The doc panicked, the hygienist panicked and I was the only one calm enough to tell them I was fine. In actuality, I was fine. I knew I might have an attack so I arranged for a ride, the appointment was already paid for all in advance so, all I needed to do was walk out the door.
Ah, geez.
My life is a three ring circus.
Tonight, I felt in the mood to concoct. My hubby, who is very good and kind, wanted to help out by getting pizza, but being on a low-sodium diet and already having a rough day, the smell of pizza is torture. I was going to cook!
Um... I am kinda low on groceries. Concocting is going to be interesting. This is what I had on hand:
So it looks like I have some Dried Shiitake Mushrooms (1 cup), Chardonnay (1 1/2 cups), Idaho Potatoes (three medium thinly sliced) a half of a white onion (diced).
It's not much to go on, but it'll have to do!
I added about a teaspoon of the following to the onion mixture:
Dill
Rosemary
Basil
Parsley
Oregano
OXO brand has the best dough cutter, in case you were wondering.
All my cooking MUST have some sort of blood sacrifice. I did this little slice on my finger while cutting up my CLEAN mushrooms. NOTE TO SELF: don't talk on the phone with a knife in hand.
Back to the food.
Viola! Isn't that pretty?
Then I cover-covered it with a lid and turned the heat down to medium to simmer. And now we wait.
I am not the best planner in the world, so when I put in the chicken it was still a little frozen. Not rock hard, mind you, because I did have some foresight by the time half the day was over. Pre-planning meals is not my forte.
It took about 45 minutes to cook and it sure looked pretty when it was done. My house smells like cooked alcohol and chicken, but I was able to get the nameless concoction on the table and eaten by the time my son needed to leave for Boy Scouts. There was only one hiccup. It was missing a bit of a nip. It need a punch, some flavor that would kick in my mouth.
I'm thinking I may add some lemon zest and juice to it next time. Maybe some balsamic vinegar or ginger for a flavor lift? What do you think? What should I add to make it better?
Food Quote of the Day (this time from the HUBS!): It's bland. Not BAD-bland. Just bland. (yeah, he's a man of few words)
NOT REALLY A Meniere's Tip of the day: I lived in Oklahoma for seven years and have seen many tornadoes and lived through a lot of severe weather. EVERY time a tornado hits that great state I fear for the lives in jeopardy and my heart aches when lives are lost. The people of Oklahoma are amazing how they band together, help each other and are incredibly organized about it. Why? Because this is their lives, it's what they are used to and we expect bad weather. Never before have I seen a group of strangers be so kind, so compassionate and so amazingly generous with their time and hard work. I may not have been born there, but I am OKIE PROUD. The RED CROSS is taking donations. Please open your heart to the people who have lost everything!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
The Foodie Mad Scientist: The Bruschetta Explosion
I don't consider myself a good cook. Never have. In fact in the wee years of marriage when the hubby didn't know yet if I was the type that was easily offended (I'm not, in case you were wondering), he rarely commented on the flavor of my food. After one particularly nasty dinner disaster of tater tot casserole, he mentioned quite kindly that it wasn't MY cooking that was the problem, it was the confounded recipe.
Sure it was.
But I was naive back then and I took him at his word. I think he is regretting it. I rarely, if ever, use a recipe. I don't cook. I concoct. And it don't always come up roses.
Last night's combination of chicken, ginger, Chardonnay, onions, jalapeno, red pepper, chili powder, and cumin was not one for the books. The Chardonnay infused the spices into the meat a little more than I expected and we were all spouting steam out our ears. I do give myself credit, however, for creating intense flavor. Next time, I'll add a little less of... well, everything!
Other times, I stumble upon a concoction that is pretty good. And when I say stumble, I mean that in actuality the outcome was a complete food surprise and I am scrambling for a pen and recipe card so I don't forget what I did.
Roasted Tomato Bruschetta
5 big fat tomatoes (I think I used Costco's Steakhouse Reds)
Place on a roasting pan and shove in the oven onto the top rack at a broil
Roast until the skins are blistered and a little black. Let cool and take off skins then chop and drain out excess juice
1 shallot or half of a white onion
5 ish chopped up garlic cloves (if you are lazy like me and go to the store and buy it in the jars already chopped and mashed up, just heap in a few tablespoons)
Handful of Portobello Mushrooms chopped (I decimate those little fungi. Usually I have some rocking tunes going on the ipad and I go nuts with the knife. In the end they look murdered)
Fresh Basil (or dried. I use both. Sometimes at the same time)
Oregano
Thyme
Rosemary
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Baslamic Vinegar
Toss the onion, garlic, mushrooms in the hot oil in a frying pan and cook it until they are soft. NOT BROWN. I burn things. Often. Trust me, you'll want them just softened. Takes about 3 minutes total. Add spices at the very end. Do it to taste. Frankly I LOVE thyme and basil so I go hog freaking wild tossing it in with my arm pumping like I've won a medal. Not all tongues are created equal.
Remove from heat (I know, duh, right? But I forget, hence the burning problem I have). Slop it into the bowl with your diced tomatoes and slurp it all together. When it's good and sloppy, add the Baslamic Vinegar to taste (1/4 ish cup). I think the Vinegar is the most important part so don't go all cheap and buy the low grade stuff at the store. I use a brand called Mountain Town from a specialty shop I have to face death via crazies on the freeway to get into the city to buy it. It's worth watching my pitiful life flash before my eyes to get. You can order it online here... MOUNTAIN TOWN For this recipe I bought the 18-year Traditional. The flavor is DIVINE!!
And now you know how to make salt-free Bruschetta.
My sons, who are always so wonderfully blunt, tell me it looks like vomit, but when they eat it they sing a different tune. They really hate tomatoes, but they'll eat my Bruschetta.
Son's quote of the day: As long as it doesn't LOOK like a tomato, I think I might be able to gag it down.
Awesome. I can work with that!
Meniere's Survival Tip of the Day: Basil is a natural anti-inflammatory. Got a headache? Snarf a few leaves of fresh basil and it'll make you feel like a million bucks. That, and you'll have very fresh breath!
Sure it was.
But I was naive back then and I took him at his word. I think he is regretting it. I rarely, if ever, use a recipe. I don't cook. I concoct. And it don't always come up roses.
Last night's combination of chicken, ginger, Chardonnay, onions, jalapeno, red pepper, chili powder, and cumin was not one for the books. The Chardonnay infused the spices into the meat a little more than I expected and we were all spouting steam out our ears. I do give myself credit, however, for creating intense flavor. Next time, I'll add a little less of... well, everything!
Other times, I stumble upon a concoction that is pretty good. And when I say stumble, I mean that in actuality the outcome was a complete food surprise and I am scrambling for a pen and recipe card so I don't forget what I did.
Roasted Tomato Bruschetta
5 big fat tomatoes (I think I used Costco's Steakhouse Reds)
Place on a roasting pan and shove in the oven onto the top rack at a broil
Roast until the skins are blistered and a little black. Let cool and take off skins then chop and drain out excess juice
1 shallot or half of a white onion
5 ish chopped up garlic cloves (if you are lazy like me and go to the store and buy it in the jars already chopped and mashed up, just heap in a few tablespoons)
Handful of Portobello Mushrooms chopped (I decimate those little fungi. Usually I have some rocking tunes going on the ipad and I go nuts with the knife. In the end they look murdered)
Fresh Basil (or dried. I use both. Sometimes at the same time)
Oregano
Thyme
Rosemary
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Baslamic Vinegar
Toss the onion, garlic, mushrooms in the hot oil in a frying pan and cook it until they are soft. NOT BROWN. I burn things. Often. Trust me, you'll want them just softened. Takes about 3 minutes total. Add spices at the very end. Do it to taste. Frankly I LOVE thyme and basil so I go hog freaking wild tossing it in with my arm pumping like I've won a medal. Not all tongues are created equal.
Remove from heat (I know, duh, right? But I forget, hence the burning problem I have). Slop it into the bowl with your diced tomatoes and slurp it all together. When it's good and sloppy, add the Baslamic Vinegar to taste (1/4 ish cup). I think the Vinegar is the most important part so don't go all cheap and buy the low grade stuff at the store. I use a brand called Mountain Town from a specialty shop I have to face death via crazies on the freeway to get into the city to buy it. It's worth watching my pitiful life flash before my eyes to get. You can order it online here... MOUNTAIN TOWN For this recipe I bought the 18-year Traditional. The flavor is DIVINE!!
And now you know how to make salt-free Bruschetta.
Son's quote of the day: As long as it doesn't LOOK like a tomato, I think I might be able to gag it down.
Awesome. I can work with that!
Meniere's Survival Tip of the Day: Basil is a natural anti-inflammatory. Got a headache? Snarf a few leaves of fresh basil and it'll make you feel like a million bucks. That, and you'll have very fresh breath!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Move over June Cleaver!
There is a new skirt in town.
Oh all the things a girl can do in a dress these days. I have to say, I've gone back in time when skirts and dresses were mandatory. I've decided they are more comfortable and frankly, I can do pretty much everything I used to do wearing pants. Such as today when I was gardening. I have a gorgeous yard. It looks like this:
Weeding it takes mountain climbing skills. But I love it. Every second of it. I tie on my apron, snap on gardening gloves and weed and pluck to my heart's content. My neighbor affectionately calls me June Cleaver, but I'm not as crazy as her. I don't wear heels while I work!
Anyway, that's what I do when I have free time. I've been spin free going on two months now and while the severe vertigo is on pause, I have discovered that cooking food without salt has my family up in arms. This, however, is not discouraging. It's an opportunity to be creative. For example: mashed potatoes (forewarning I am no chef. I cook with what I've got and I never measure anything. I cook to taste, not for exactness).
Mama's Lemony Mashed Potatoes
Fill a pot with scrubbed and diced Idaho spuds (boil til soft)
Milk
Sour cream
unsalted butter
Mrs Dash Original blend spices (salt free)
Fresh squeezed lemon (half a lemon is plenty)
So, I've got a big pot of potatoes and I slosh in the milk and sour cream and butter and mix it up with beaters until it's good and mashed. Then I toss in some seasonings until it tastes like something more than bland smooshed potatoes. Once that is done, I squeeze the bajeebees out of the lemon and add the juice and a little lemon zest (grated peelings) into the mix and slop it all together.
90% of the time I cross my fingers and hope my sons eat it without complaint. Frankly, I don't give a hoot if they sprinkle salt on their food if they want, but the complaining gets under my skin a bit. This concoction was a home run. Not only did they not complain, they snarfed it and didn't add salt to it. Big win for the low sodium mama cook!
Direct quote from my youngest son about my cooking skills: Mom, you aren't a bad cook. It's just when you cook and it doesn't taste good.
Ah, thanks kido! Thanks for the raving reviews.
Meniere's Tip of the Day: Make fun of yourself. Life is too short to mope about your rare disease. Get up and laugh a little.
Oh all the things a girl can do in a dress these days. I have to say, I've gone back in time when skirts and dresses were mandatory. I've decided they are more comfortable and frankly, I can do pretty much everything I used to do wearing pants. Such as today when I was gardening. I have a gorgeous yard. It looks like this:
Weeding it takes mountain climbing skills. But I love it. Every second of it. I tie on my apron, snap on gardening gloves and weed and pluck to my heart's content. My neighbor affectionately calls me June Cleaver, but I'm not as crazy as her. I don't wear heels while I work!
Anyway, that's what I do when I have free time. I've been spin free going on two months now and while the severe vertigo is on pause, I have discovered that cooking food without salt has my family up in arms. This, however, is not discouraging. It's an opportunity to be creative. For example: mashed potatoes (forewarning I am no chef. I cook with what I've got and I never measure anything. I cook to taste, not for exactness).
Mama's Lemony Mashed Potatoes
Fill a pot with scrubbed and diced Idaho spuds (boil til soft)
Milk
Sour cream
unsalted butter
Mrs Dash Original blend spices (salt free)
Fresh squeezed lemon (half a lemon is plenty)
So, I've got a big pot of potatoes and I slosh in the milk and sour cream and butter and mix it up with beaters until it's good and mashed. Then I toss in some seasonings until it tastes like something more than bland smooshed potatoes. Once that is done, I squeeze the bajeebees out of the lemon and add the juice and a little lemon zest (grated peelings) into the mix and slop it all together.
90% of the time I cross my fingers and hope my sons eat it without complaint. Frankly, I don't give a hoot if they sprinkle salt on their food if they want, but the complaining gets under my skin a bit. This concoction was a home run. Not only did they not complain, they snarfed it and didn't add salt to it. Big win for the low sodium mama cook!
Direct quote from my youngest son about my cooking skills: Mom, you aren't a bad cook. It's just when you cook and it doesn't taste good.
Ah, thanks kido! Thanks for the raving reviews.
Meniere's Tip of the Day: Make fun of yourself. Life is too short to mope about your rare disease. Get up and laugh a little.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Marriage and Advice: Trust me, they aren't friends!
So, the hubs and I rounded the corner of our thirteenth anniversary this week. As I look back over the years, I don't just realize that I still love the guy, I KNOW I love him. It's not something I really have to think about. But this weekend, while we were on our first romantic getaway in... oh geez, thirteen years, we were stopped by a pair of girls doing a Bridal Shower Scavenger Hunt. They asked us to write down a snippet of advice for the Bride to Be.
Hmm.... Marital advice.
What should I say? Never go to bed mad? Who does that anyway?!? Resolve your fights right away? Nah. Cherish your partner? Lame.
All the usual advice seemed too trite, so I wrote down the glue that keeps me and the Mr. together.
Have a good sense of humor.
To back up that advice, let me just say that if I didn't have a sense of humor, life at my house would be a sad one indeed. In fact, there are a few things in our years together that make me out right snicker just recalling them.
For example... My hubs is a nice guy. He likes to buy me things. On our first Christmas together he wanted to buy me jewelry (a tradition he admired in his grandpa who, over 50+ years of marriage to his grandma, has amassed a whopper of a sparkly collection). His choice wasn't exactly... pretty. Stupid me, I mentioned that the earrings he got me were too expensive on our tight poor college budget and we should take them back. Translation: Hun, them things are butt ugly.
Over the ensuing NINE years, I didn't get one stitch of jewelry. Even as I write, I am giggling. I know I shouldn't be, but instead of being offended, my hubby, for nine years, gave me a good ribbing about my poor taste in sparkly stuff. Instead, he got me great things like a rototiller, kitchen mixer, really REALLY sharp knives and (my personal favorite) a bathroom scale.
Oop! Side break from the jewelry story. NEVER, EVER ask my hubby to just "surprise" you when it comes to gifts. On my 30th birthday, I really didn't need or want anything. I told him to wing it and just surprise me. Uh, yeah. I ended up with a bathroom scale and a box of chocolates. My bad! I have learned my lesson. If he asks me what I want for a gift, I am very straightforward and clear. No more "surprising".
Okay, back to the original story.
Anyway, after much begging and Bambi eyes, he broke down and bought me a very pretty, very amazingly designed garnet ring. It took nine years. NINE! I still laugh over it. The other day, some friends of ours were showing off her wedding ring that has been broken for three years. It got under the wife's skin that it took so long for him to get it fixed. My hubby snerked, and said, "Three years? Alyson's wedding ring has been broken for thirteen."
I laughed. So nice that his slacking makes me so happy.
And with that... Happy Anniversary, Aaron! Thirteen years down and eternity to go!
PS. He did finally get my ring fixed. Here it is!
Hmm.... Marital advice.
What should I say? Never go to bed mad? Who does that anyway?!? Resolve your fights right away? Nah. Cherish your partner? Lame.
All the usual advice seemed too trite, so I wrote down the glue that keeps me and the Mr. together.
Have a good sense of humor.
To back up that advice, let me just say that if I didn't have a sense of humor, life at my house would be a sad one indeed. In fact, there are a few things in our years together that make me out right snicker just recalling them.
For example... My hubs is a nice guy. He likes to buy me things. On our first Christmas together he wanted to buy me jewelry (a tradition he admired in his grandpa who, over 50+ years of marriage to his grandma, has amassed a whopper of a sparkly collection). His choice wasn't exactly... pretty. Stupid me, I mentioned that the earrings he got me were too expensive on our tight poor college budget and we should take them back. Translation: Hun, them things are butt ugly.
Over the ensuing NINE years, I didn't get one stitch of jewelry. Even as I write, I am giggling. I know I shouldn't be, but instead of being offended, my hubby, for nine years, gave me a good ribbing about my poor taste in sparkly stuff. Instead, he got me great things like a rototiller, kitchen mixer, really REALLY sharp knives and (my personal favorite) a bathroom scale.
Oop! Side break from the jewelry story. NEVER, EVER ask my hubby to just "surprise" you when it comes to gifts. On my 30th birthday, I really didn't need or want anything. I told him to wing it and just surprise me. Uh, yeah. I ended up with a bathroom scale and a box of chocolates. My bad! I have learned my lesson. If he asks me what I want for a gift, I am very straightforward and clear. No more "surprising".
Okay, back to the original story.
Anyway, after much begging and Bambi eyes, he broke down and bought me a very pretty, very amazingly designed garnet ring. It took nine years. NINE! I still laugh over it. The other day, some friends of ours were showing off her wedding ring that has been broken for three years. It got under the wife's skin that it took so long for him to get it fixed. My hubby snerked, and said, "Three years? Alyson's wedding ring has been broken for thirteen."
I laughed. So nice that his slacking makes me so happy.
And with that... Happy Anniversary, Aaron! Thirteen years down and eternity to go!
PS. He did finally get my ring fixed. Here it is!
Monday, April 29, 2013
The Diet of all Meniere's Diets
On my first visit to the doc concerning my spinning world, I was met with the sorry sad news that I had an incurable disease. My journey down the Meniere's Disease crazy road had begun. I was put on steroids and a mean-ass diuretic. When that didn't work, the Doc brought out... The Needle. He was going to inject my inner ear with Steroids THEN, when that wasn't enough he was going to inject a poison in the tube that controls balance and fry it. Instantly I'd lose a portion of my hearing and there wouldn't be a guarantee that it would work OR that it would be permanent. Before I started hyperventilating, he gave me another option.
Diet.
The single preservation of hearing and getting control of Meniere's symptoms was regulating sodium, caffeine and sugar intake. I very abruptly told the doc to put that needle away and I would go Low-sodium and no sugar from that point on. Before I try and convince anyone about the benefits, you should know that going on a Meniere's diet is HARD. No bones about it. For the first ten days on it I thought I was going to die of chocolate depravation. This is what convinced me to stay strong:
My Chiropractor is an amazing man. Big bear of a dude, Vietnam Vet and a 30 year Meniere's sufferer. As I sat in his office discussing the scoliotic curve to my spine we got to talking about the disease. He was very interested in my diagnosis and discussed with me at length how to deal with it. At the time I was a spinning miserable mess. I was five days on the diet and leaning towards giving up. He convinced me to stick to it. Here sat a man who suffered through ten years of spinning, nausea, and severe tinnitus. He had done it all: steroid injections, a stint in his inner ear, invasive surgery. None of it worked. He was 80% deaf and miserable. Then, he changed doctors to a brilliant ENT who directed him to change his diet, drastically. Since that day, he has been spin free, tinnitus free and preserved the remaining 20% of his hearing.
Do the math folks. Diet helped him keep his remaining hearing, NO vertigo attacks and in full control of his Meniere's for 20 YEARS and counting. He sky dives, travels the world and works 40 hour weeks, ALL of it spin free.
Too good to be true?
On March 17th, 2013 I tripped off a two week spin cycle, lost 20% of my hearing in my left ear and was bed ridden almost every other day. I went low sodium, low sugar and caffeine free cold turkey. It took me about a week to get my head clear, but I am currently 30 days spin free and counting. My most current episode was so minor, I slept through it and was only nauseated for 10 minutes and had muted tinnitus for 30 minutes. In my book, that's a HUGE win.
Here is The Meniere's Diet broken down by food group:
Beverage:
To AVOID: ALL soda, caffeinated tea, coffee, alcohol and oddly, buttermilk. Soda is a biggie, but that fizz is bad new for the inner ear.
The GOOD stuff: lemon water, lowfat milk, 100% juice drinks.
Breads:
To AVOID: Salty crackers and artisan breads.
GOOD stuff: bake your own and halve the salt required in the recipe. Whole grain breads can be found, but keep them under 6% sodium per slice.
Cereals:
To AVOID: Instant cooked cereal or prepared boxed cereals.
GOOD Stuff: Home cooked Oatmeal with honey gives you control over what goes in your mouth.
Cheese:
To AVOID: ALL cheese except cottage, hoop, cream and low sodium cheddar. I buy a skim-milk fresh mozzarella that is only 4% sodium per ounce. It's really yummy! Just make sure you read the sodium content before you buy ANYTHING cheese. Feta is a whopping 25% sodium per ounce. OUCH!! Typically the more it is aged the saltier it is.
Dessert:
To AVOID: desserts made with salt, high sugar content, karo, baking powder, baking soda and cake mixes. For me personally, I junked all sugar and stick to fruits and honey. It just worked better. Also avoid chocolate at all cost. The caffeine in it is mean to your inner ear.
GOOD Stuff: Like I mentioned, fruit and honey is going to be your new best pal.
Eggs:
No restrictions. Though cooking an egg with no salt can be tricky. I'll post the perfect way to cook an egg with no salt that is to DIE for yummy.
Fats:
To AVOID: Bacon fat, salted butter and margarine, regular salad dressing (Ranch especially as well as italian) and mayonnaise.
GOOD stuff: Extra virgin olive oil and sweet cream unsalted butter. Basalmic Vinegars are fantastic over salads and specialty shops like Teaoli.com have flavored vinegars that are divine!
Fruit Juices:
To AVOID: Tomato Juice and anything that isn't 100% juice.
GOOD stuff: Drink up the 100% juice good stuff. They are usually 0% sodium.
Meat, Fish and Poultry:
To AVOID: Salt cured meat, canned meat, smoked meat like ham, bacon, cold cuts and wieners. I'll add Smoked fish too because my in-laws live in Alaska and they like to send me smoked salmon and I can't eat the stuff. Too salty, which is a bummer because fresh smoked salmon out of the ocean is delicious!
GOOD Stuff: I find that grilled steak takes away all desire for me to relapse on salt. Cooking chicken without salt is very challenging, but with the right herbs and spices, even un-salted meat can be ultra yummy. I'll post a few of my experiments with meat in future posts.
Potatoes and other Snacks:
To AVOID: Potato chips (my kryptonite!!!) and corn chips and all other prepared snack foods that are stinking everywhere! All I do is flip over the bag to the nutrition facts and my ears start ringing. Bagged snacks are notoriously salty.
GOOD stuff: Whole Foods has a good no salt potato chip but they are bland as all get out. I'm still searching for a good chip. However, XO CHILIE has a 2% sodium corn chip that is so good, I have to pace myself when I eat them! My saving grace is unsalted popcorn.
Soups:
To AVOID: ALL canned soups and bouillon cubes along with regular chicken/beef broth and stock.
GOOD Stuff: I find low sodium gold nuggets in soups at the store all the time. It just takes some careful hunting and keeping that dratted sodium under 4% per cup. Make your own soup and cut the salt in half or quarter it. For a 15 cup pot of soup you shouldn't put in more than a half teaspoon of salt (Kosher or sea salt preferably).
Veggies:
To AVOID: Sauerkraut
GOOD Stuff: Go to town on the stuff and don't be stingy on the variety. FYI celery is naturally salty and so is broccoli, but not enough for concern.
Miscellaneous:
To AVOID: All Salt. AKA the crystalline stuff you sprinkle on your food. Lock it up! Onion and Garlic salt, Monosodium Glutamate, Catsup, chili sauce, canned anything (beans, veggies, fruit etc), olives, pickles, relish, seasoned salts, Lemon pepper, soy sauce, meat tenderizers, Worcestershire sauce.
The list for miscellaneous is a lengthy one. A good key to live buy is to flip whatever you have in your hand over and check out the sodium content. If it is over 2%-4%, it's best to put it back on the shelf. My doc said he got into the habit of automatically spitting things out if it tasted too good or wasn't bland enough. Though he amended that by saying his wife has gotten so good at cooking with no salt that he can't tell anymore. It's all yummy.
And lastly, smoking should be avoided along with hard core illegal drugs and whatnot, but that to me is just a no brainer. The diet is hard and it is a diet that you will be on for the rest of your life. The key to controlling your Meniere's is controlling your food intake. The better you manage the consistency of food going into your body, they better you manage your attacks. That means no skipping meals, eating at the same time daily and drinking a good 2 liters of fresh water every day.
Is it hard?
It's DAMN hard. But the real key is if it is worth it. Well... besides the fact that I dropped 20 pounds in three weeks and I've gone 30+ days spin free, I feel fantastic. It's a long hard road, but I can't imagine going back to my old salty lifestyle. It's just not worth it. Not when I am driving, gardening, painting, walking, running and planning trips and vacations and ALL of it will be SPIN FREE.
So... on that note, I am going to go munch on some mangos and pineapple. Ta Ta!
Diet.
The single preservation of hearing and getting control of Meniere's symptoms was regulating sodium, caffeine and sugar intake. I very abruptly told the doc to put that needle away and I would go Low-sodium and no sugar from that point on. Before I try and convince anyone about the benefits, you should know that going on a Meniere's diet is HARD. No bones about it. For the first ten days on it I thought I was going to die of chocolate depravation. This is what convinced me to stay strong:
My Chiropractor is an amazing man. Big bear of a dude, Vietnam Vet and a 30 year Meniere's sufferer. As I sat in his office discussing the scoliotic curve to my spine we got to talking about the disease. He was very interested in my diagnosis and discussed with me at length how to deal with it. At the time I was a spinning miserable mess. I was five days on the diet and leaning towards giving up. He convinced me to stick to it. Here sat a man who suffered through ten years of spinning, nausea, and severe tinnitus. He had done it all: steroid injections, a stint in his inner ear, invasive surgery. None of it worked. He was 80% deaf and miserable. Then, he changed doctors to a brilliant ENT who directed him to change his diet, drastically. Since that day, he has been spin free, tinnitus free and preserved the remaining 20% of his hearing.
Do the math folks. Diet helped him keep his remaining hearing, NO vertigo attacks and in full control of his Meniere's for 20 YEARS and counting. He sky dives, travels the world and works 40 hour weeks, ALL of it spin free.
Too good to be true?
On March 17th, 2013 I tripped off a two week spin cycle, lost 20% of my hearing in my left ear and was bed ridden almost every other day. I went low sodium, low sugar and caffeine free cold turkey. It took me about a week to get my head clear, but I am currently 30 days spin free and counting. My most current episode was so minor, I slept through it and was only nauseated for 10 minutes and had muted tinnitus for 30 minutes. In my book, that's a HUGE win.
Here is The Meniere's Diet broken down by food group:
Beverage:
To AVOID: ALL soda, caffeinated tea, coffee, alcohol and oddly, buttermilk. Soda is a biggie, but that fizz is bad new for the inner ear.
The GOOD stuff: lemon water, lowfat milk, 100% juice drinks.
Breads:
To AVOID: Salty crackers and artisan breads.
GOOD stuff: bake your own and halve the salt required in the recipe. Whole grain breads can be found, but keep them under 6% sodium per slice.
Cereals:
To AVOID: Instant cooked cereal or prepared boxed cereals.
GOOD Stuff: Home cooked Oatmeal with honey gives you control over what goes in your mouth.
Cheese:
To AVOID: ALL cheese except cottage, hoop, cream and low sodium cheddar. I buy a skim-milk fresh mozzarella that is only 4% sodium per ounce. It's really yummy! Just make sure you read the sodium content before you buy ANYTHING cheese. Feta is a whopping 25% sodium per ounce. OUCH!! Typically the more it is aged the saltier it is.
Dessert:
To AVOID: desserts made with salt, high sugar content, karo, baking powder, baking soda and cake mixes. For me personally, I junked all sugar and stick to fruits and honey. It just worked better. Also avoid chocolate at all cost. The caffeine in it is mean to your inner ear.
GOOD Stuff: Like I mentioned, fruit and honey is going to be your new best pal.
Eggs:
No restrictions. Though cooking an egg with no salt can be tricky. I'll post the perfect way to cook an egg with no salt that is to DIE for yummy.
Fats:
To AVOID: Bacon fat, salted butter and margarine, regular salad dressing (Ranch especially as well as italian) and mayonnaise.
GOOD stuff: Extra virgin olive oil and sweet cream unsalted butter. Basalmic Vinegars are fantastic over salads and specialty shops like Teaoli.com have flavored vinegars that are divine!
Fruit Juices:
To AVOID: Tomato Juice and anything that isn't 100% juice.
GOOD stuff: Drink up the 100% juice good stuff. They are usually 0% sodium.
Meat, Fish and Poultry:
To AVOID: Salt cured meat, canned meat, smoked meat like ham, bacon, cold cuts and wieners. I'll add Smoked fish too because my in-laws live in Alaska and they like to send me smoked salmon and I can't eat the stuff. Too salty, which is a bummer because fresh smoked salmon out of the ocean is delicious!
GOOD Stuff: I find that grilled steak takes away all desire for me to relapse on salt. Cooking chicken without salt is very challenging, but with the right herbs and spices, even un-salted meat can be ultra yummy. I'll post a few of my experiments with meat in future posts.
Potatoes and other Snacks:
To AVOID: Potato chips (my kryptonite!!!) and corn chips and all other prepared snack foods that are stinking everywhere! All I do is flip over the bag to the nutrition facts and my ears start ringing. Bagged snacks are notoriously salty.
GOOD stuff: Whole Foods has a good no salt potato chip but they are bland as all get out. I'm still searching for a good chip. However, XO CHILIE has a 2% sodium corn chip that is so good, I have to pace myself when I eat them! My saving grace is unsalted popcorn.
Soups:
To AVOID: ALL canned soups and bouillon cubes along with regular chicken/beef broth and stock.
GOOD Stuff: I find low sodium gold nuggets in soups at the store all the time. It just takes some careful hunting and keeping that dratted sodium under 4% per cup. Make your own soup and cut the salt in half or quarter it. For a 15 cup pot of soup you shouldn't put in more than a half teaspoon of salt (Kosher or sea salt preferably).
Veggies:
To AVOID: Sauerkraut
GOOD Stuff: Go to town on the stuff and don't be stingy on the variety. FYI celery is naturally salty and so is broccoli, but not enough for concern.
Miscellaneous:
To AVOID: All Salt. AKA the crystalline stuff you sprinkle on your food. Lock it up! Onion and Garlic salt, Monosodium Glutamate, Catsup, chili sauce, canned anything (beans, veggies, fruit etc), olives, pickles, relish, seasoned salts, Lemon pepper, soy sauce, meat tenderizers, Worcestershire sauce.
The list for miscellaneous is a lengthy one. A good key to live buy is to flip whatever you have in your hand over and check out the sodium content. If it is over 2%-4%, it's best to put it back on the shelf. My doc said he got into the habit of automatically spitting things out if it tasted too good or wasn't bland enough. Though he amended that by saying his wife has gotten so good at cooking with no salt that he can't tell anymore. It's all yummy.
And lastly, smoking should be avoided along with hard core illegal drugs and whatnot, but that to me is just a no brainer. The diet is hard and it is a diet that you will be on for the rest of your life. The key to controlling your Meniere's is controlling your food intake. The better you manage the consistency of food going into your body, they better you manage your attacks. That means no skipping meals, eating at the same time daily and drinking a good 2 liters of fresh water every day.
Is it hard?
It's DAMN hard. But the real key is if it is worth it. Well... besides the fact that I dropped 20 pounds in three weeks and I've gone 30+ days spin free, I feel fantastic. It's a long hard road, but I can't imagine going back to my old salty lifestyle. It's just not worth it. Not when I am driving, gardening, painting, walking, running and planning trips and vacations and ALL of it will be SPIN FREE.
So... on that note, I am going to go munch on some mangos and pineapple. Ta Ta!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)