Sunday, November 17, 2013

Is it Apathy or Something Else?

Okeedokee,  I just want to touch on a subject that has been very much on my mind.  Sexuality.

Yeah, odd topic, I KNOW!  But every time I bring up the news on my computer, somebody somewhere is coming out of the closet, or from under the bed or out the door...whatever!  All I have to say on the matter is that news that somebody has decided to go public about being gay is getting really... well, old.  If I had to put a word to it, I'd say I don't care.  Really, I don't.

Is that Apathy?

So a basketball player came out to his team.  I don't care.  A son wrote a letter to his parent.  Bah!  Seen it.  Again, I don't care.  And yet as I write this, I keep wondering if I am turning into that very apathetic and non-caring person I've spent my entire life avoiding.  Well, I have come to the conclusion that apathy has nothing to do with it.

First of all, I don't care who you love.  That's your business.  What I care about goes deeper than what you look like and moves into what you say, how you act and how you treat people.  For example:

When I was in college, I had a boss who was gay.  He was not a nice guy.  Period.  He used "Gay" as a title, as a right and a way to force his views on the people he employed.  And not just his views on his sexuality.  It was his views on everything and if we disagreed, he would degrade us and say we were hating on him because he was gay.  No, we hated the guy because he was a first rate jerk.  I could care less if he was gay.  I just didn't want to find out I had to work during class hours the day I had to take that shift.  Yeah, he was that bad.

But not all of my experiences have been bad.  A young gal I used to teach at church came out to me last year.  She was afraid I wouldn't accept her because I had such strong religious core beliefs.  I was a little miffed about that one.  How does a belief in God make me not want to be friends with her because she is gay?  I found that confusing.  Of course I still wanted to be friends.  Just because I am Mormon doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving her for who she is.

I have another dear friend who happens to be the flamboyant guy who does my hair.  The guy is a riot.  He makes three hours of coloring and cutting my limp locks feel like ten minutes and it's because he cares.  He cares, not just to get a tip, but cares for all the clients he has.  He knows all my kids names, my hubby and details of what we talked about five weeks previous.  We frequently swap movie titles and books we like.  We've had deep discussions about life and relationships and he has never once failed to make me feel special.  The guy just plain rocks.  Last month, he very carefully told me that he finally found a guy to date that he was really falling for.  He was actually nervous that I would hate him for it.  Again, I find this odd.  I thought I made myself clear that I didn't care.  I was more worried that my kind, sweet friend would get his heart trampled on like he had in past experiences.

So, is it apathy to not care about if you are gay or not?  Is it apathy to care more about who the person is, how they treat others and how they love themselves?  Is it apathy to look inside of people and see the good they have in their hearts?

Frankly, I would much rather have a friend who is loyal and kind.

If you happen to be gay?

Guess what, I don't care.



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