Monday, October 21, 2013

If He Can't Hack it as a Doc...

I'm sorry I haven't written much.  I have no excuse.  Well, I kind of have an excuse in the form of my boys getting bullied at school, me turning into a massive mamma bear and finding new schools for them to get into.  They started their first day of charter school today, which means I spent the majority of the day in a cold sweat.  Heck, it's not like I was the one starting at the new school, but I still had those pesky 'show up nude and embarrass myself in public' dreams (except I was the mom in the buck instead of the kid).

Right now, I don't want to talk about my beastly mamma bear versus bullying escapades.  I want to talk about my new doctor.  My new bone doc is pretty (oh geez, I am snickering like a preteen girl already).  We're talking tall, dark and handsome pretty.  Doctors like that usually only come in the fake variety in movies, but this guy was the real deal.  And it was the weirdest doctor appointment I've ever attended.  To begin, this is the FIRST ever appointment I've gone to where the doc and I were the same age.  Let me just say, it's odd.  He's fresh out of med school.  Squeaky fresh, to the point that he came out into the waiting room to meet me, walked me back to the exam room and chit chatted the whole way like we were old pals.  The other weird happening is that the freshie was wearing a full suit.  The whole schabang complete with polished shoes, tie, pressed white shirt and suit coat.

**Side note:  I am a pretty congenial gal.  I talk to everyone.  But you get me one on one with a pretty boy and my stupid button gets pushed.  It's mortifying.**

Anyhoo...  So, Dr Medical Male Model sits down and starts asking me those fantastic personal questions that always make me squirm (made a million times worse because he's dreamy).  I'm trying to answer them, but, like I said, I have a stupid button and mine was going haywire.  Instead of answering like a normal person, I say...

"Dude, what's with the get up?  Are you going to a funeral or do you have a second job at the morgue?"

*Head slap*

He says he's just dressing professionally and the reply makes my brain short out because suit and doctor just don't mesh.  Then I say, "Last I checked, doctor duds are scrubs."

Did I mention I have a stupid button?  I just want to make it clear that I do.  Anyway, I made the poor guy blush and he ordered a supernaturally horrible blood test and sent me to the meanest needle vampire lady on the planet where I swear she jabbed that thing clear through to the back of my elbow.  Gotta love that.  I thought that was the end of that, but I had to go back today for a follow up visit.  These newbie docs are thorough!

Today, I had a long wait in the exam room.  So long that I had to leave before Dr. M.M.M could see me (I could NOT be late picking up my boys from their new school on their first day.  That's just cruel).  So I left.  I got all the way down to the school when I get a call from the doc.  It's not the front desk lady or the nurse.  It's Dr. Hottie Pants himself and the first thing he says is:

"How could you leave?  I wore scrubs today just for you!"

Ah geez.

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