Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Don't call us, we'll call you

I have officially turned into a hairy legged hermit.

Why shave when there is no man around to appreciate it? Why go out and have the time of my life when I have to go do it alone? Hairy? Check! Hermit? Check! I think I like this arrangement. I like that my phone rarely rings any more too (it didn't much in the first place, but now even less than normal). I sit in my office and write all day only to resurface when my alarm goes off telling me it is time to pick up kids from school.

When the phone does ring, I do the acme jump. The one where the scared toon punches a hole through the ceiling. Freaks me out every time. What freaks me out worse is getting a call from the elementary school. They sound so apologetic when they call as if my son in their office is their fault. Most of the time it is one of the secretaries or my kid calling, but today I got a call from the principal.


What did my son do!? My heart stopped beating and I had a brief out of body experience. I waited to hear dreaded phrases such as "hit another kid" and "caught him picking his nose" or "looked cross-eyed at the teacher" (our elementary is ultra strict so I wouldn't be surprised at the last one). The principal is a really nice guy and he called to say he was concerned about Brooks because this was the fourth time in two weeks he's gone to the school nurse complaining he felt sick. I held back a monstrous snort laugh.

My son is the king of playing sick. Unless he's puking his guts out, I tend to tell him to rough it out. It's hard to take him serious when he is begging to come home and when he gets here goes straight to his LEGOS and has a hey-day doing squat (laughing it up too and bragging to his brother when he gets home). I've noticed being sick happens a lot on math lesson day. Funny how that works.

Was he sick? I think not. Did he convince the principal he was dying? Yes, he did. Sucker.

***Just in case I took him to the doc who, for a 25 buck co-pay, told me what I already knew; He's at the peak of little boy health. Brooks is DEFINITELY going to school tomorrow.

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