"When you grow up, I hope you have a child just like you!"
That is the "Mom" curse. It's the one lain upon our heads when our mothers have hit that point where they have had it. Period. And there is no escape. I've already pronounced it on my eldest son and I'm telling you, he deserved every word of that curse. (Just wait until his snark-bucket offspring give him lip!!! Mwaha ha ha.)
However, I would not do the same for my youngest son. I say that because that kid is already like me and frankly, no more kids need to board that crazy train. That boy is a bundle of snort laughs, brilliant ideas and pure-hearted sweetness. If I could bottle one ounce of his manic energy, I'd get a lot more done in one day than I currently do in a year. He is one cool kid and amazingly enough, we get along really well.
There is always a 'but'.
In the evenings, around bedtime, he and I like to have interesting conversations. Sometimes they are funny and other times serious. Some of his questions about God and why we are here blow my mind. How on earth a 10 year old can think that deep amazes me. Other times he just doesn't want to go to bed. He is still a kid after all. We had a conversation last night that caught me off guard. It was a deeply personal question that I am not going to write. However, the root of his question is something I have been fighting for decades.
Why on earth I had to pass on this one single gene is beyond me. It's just not fair. I didn't get cursed by my mother and I have never cursed this child, but it looks as if he is afflicted nonetheless. It took me thirty minutes to explain to him what he was feeling and how to fight it. If my answer was comforting to him at all, I'll never know. All I do know is that he started looking at me in a totally different light the next morning. It was as if we created a bond of brotherhood of sorts (if I was a dude, I guess). We already have a secret fist bump handshake thing going, but now there is more blood pact minus the cutting part involved. We had shared our souls. You can't come back from that and be normal and act like it never happened. We are changed forever.
His life is going to be tough. Butt freaking hard, in fact. And yet, I've been there, I am going through the exact same thing and we are going to get through this together.
Curse be damned.