So, I just got back from the doc (well, the appointment was yesterday so maybe I should say that I just pulled my head out of the fog this morning). It was an interesting visit where I found out I am going deaf. It's not devastating... ish, but I am still processing it.
As Mr EarDoc is telling me what is wrong with my head (which is A BUTT LOAD of things, but I didn't clue him in on all those) I kept on thinking... "Okay, so what does that mean for me?" I'm not sure yet, but his advice was that I take things one day at a time. Change my diet (I have Meniere's Disease) take meds and my personal favorite... Lower my stress levels.
Stress? Lowered? Now THAT'S funny.
In fact, I started laughing. Have you ever been in my house after my kids come home from school? Hear them pound on my ancient piano and moan how their lives are over and how, as their mother, I have ruined them forever? Ever watched my dog stumble into my studio and puke at my feet? I work hard, I play hard and I mother like a warrior. Stress? It comes with the territory. But I am trying to chill.
Last night I took a nice calming bath. Tried to not think about my life doing a massive 180. I ignored the bills, the books I should be writing, the room I need to paint before our guests arrive (the guest room is STILL an empty room with a bare mattress set), the dishes piling up in the sink and the monster pile of snarling dirty clothes needing to be washed. When my zen was over and the water turned cold, I picked up a good book and tried to chill with that too. I am reading The Hobbit and I think Bilbo and I have something in common. We both wish, not for the first time, for his chair in front of the fire in his nice hobbit hole and never had gone on an adventure.
But life is an adventure.
A big scary adventure and today, I'm going to pick myself up and keep at it. Sure my life has changed, but I'm still alive and that's worth waking up and throttling a day for.